Occasionally during a relationship you find yourself sitting beside your other half on the lounge or next to them in the car (or perhaps even whipping them until they scream the safe word) and you find yourself musing over what it is that draws you to this person, this person in particular, and what it is that separates them from the thousands of other people you weed out as potential partners during your lifetime.

Not so long ago I was perched before the television with the object of my affections. Our nightly ritual was in full swing; we'd just finished eating dinner, Oprah had just finished bleating on about some rubbish and Dr Phil was about to begin, followed by MTV's Made, Super Sweet Sixteen and then we'd end the evening with a few episodes of Animal Cops, without a doubt the best show ever made.. ever.

We were probably having a minor argument about who was going to the fridge to refill our refreshments, the only thing we regularly argue about. By regularly, I mean a couple of times per hour. He always wins; his greatest skill is being incredibly annoying at the highest possible volume. Like how some whales can hear each other across whole oceans? That's him. But a really annoying whale.

Transfixed, we stopped bickering and watched these women stand before mirrors, assess their skeletal frames and speak about how they could count the fat rolls (err, the fat rolls are your ribs lady..). After a few minutes of silence my other half looked in my direction and blurted out, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world:

"..god, just give them cookies. Who doesn't like cookies?"

That's right. Cookies.

Clearly, he's a genius. That's why I didn't weed him out.